Marcia Conner

You Can Do Anything

You Can Do Anything

You Can Do Anything

 

“How many of you were told when you were young that you could grow up to be anything you set your mind on?”

A professor-friend recently opened his graduate management course with this question. Fewer than half the people in the room raised a hand.

I’ve begun asking this of everyone I meet, trying to get a sense if there’s a relationship between the mental paths paved during childhood and each person’s natural self-leadership to reach beyond obvious walls.

Similar to the class numbers, about half the people I speak with shake their head in wonderment, citing examples of a parent who regularly alluded to or directly told them opportunities were far and few.

One colleague said his parents regularly told him his options and potential were limitless, but also only set the bar knee high. They would say things like, “Your dream sounds neat but who would want to spend their whole life working that hard?” Pronouncements alone fall flat.

In my family, by contrast, my father took this question to another height, even using it as a game on long car trips. He’d ask me, “What couldn’t you do?” He did this to help me build pathways to envision I could do almost anything. Then we’d talk through the steps it might take to reach high.

One of my most creative moments came on a day when I was about ten. I said, “I couldn’t walk through the sun unassisted.” I recall brief chatter about inventing a protective suit but for the most part it ended our conversation — at least that day.

So what are you asking your children? What mental roadblocks are you helping your employees dismantle? What limits to your freedom are like mirages that once you close in on are simply reflections of something else?

Although I haven’t always succeeded, I feel accomplished… and the flops taught me so much I appreciate them, too. Walking through the sun, however, still eludes me.

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This post was originally on my Fast Company column.

Marcia Conner consults with the world’s largest organizations on getting better at getting better. She recently published The New Social Learning: A Guide to Transforming Organizations Through Social Media and is currently working on her next book which will be about ingenuity. Follow her at twitter.com/marciamarcia to learn more.

[Image: CC image by ThomasHawk, Beach Performances]

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  • http://simbeckhampson.com Paul Simbeck-Hampson

    Hi Marcia. I was told that by my parents. More specifically, that if I was prepared to work hard I could be anything. I believed them, and so far it has proven true. The one thing that I appreciate more than any other is the confidence it gave me to think that dreams were possible, and if even if after the first attempt it didn’t work out, that I should keep on trying and dreaming.

    I recognize the game your Dad was playing, both from the receiving end, and from how I now also play the game with my daughter.

    I think Education, or the power we give educators, is key to ensuring this mental building plan remains accessible.

    I prepared a blog post on this topic yesterday which is scheduled for today, I’ll send you a link when it’s live.

    Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

  • http://marciaconner.com Marcia Conner

    Thanks for weighing in, Paul. I’m saddened when I learn others didn’t have this same opportunity and might have missed, all together, effort leads to results. Now with a young son, I notice how seriously he takes the wide open and far-reaching vision I have for his future — and for us all. So good to hear we’re not alone.

  • 20Monica20

    Hi Marcia,
    Unfortunately, I did not have this experience. My mother always told me that I can’t do anything in my life as I am not good enough. I was always first in my class for 12 years, but that was never enough. Despite hearing her voice in my head all these years (I’m almost 40 years old now-wow!) I acheved what she was not even thinkiong about. I pushed myself more and more every time and

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